What type of Chevaliers would you like to have?
by AMGerm Rocks
Summary: If you have a chance to own a Chevalier... which one would you like to have?. Answer a few of our questions and prepare just some million bucks, then we SUCK will send a suitable one for you!.
1. Chapter 1

**Name of products: Chevaliers.**

**Shape: Human form.**

**Manufacture: SUCK.**

**CEO: Chariot Argeno.**

**Welcome you morons and maniacs,… er *cough* we mean monsieurs and mademoiselles to a new product of our corporation. We are Sinners of Universal Chevaliers Kingdoom, oh wait Kingdom, well SUCK for short. **

**Recently we have successes in trying to create a new type of bodyguard and by **_**create**_** we mean **_**train **_***sweat drop* not that we are doing something illegal like ****Cinq Fleches and we call the bodyguards Chevaliers, 'cause that way is much cooler. And when you're reading this, zhen **_**then**_** you are very lucky for having a chance to own one of them by giving us a call through a button "review" below. **

**Chance because that depends on your money and maybe your life if unfortunately you're not a Queen. Oh please, stop your wailing!. We said maybe, and it's only like what 50% that you may lose your pathetic life. All of our mice are not ****psychiatric, just 4 of them are not right on the head. **

**Anyway, let's skip the boring part "how you may die" and instead focus on "how useful are Chevaliers". Well they're bodyguards so they will protect you, **_**mostly**_**. For we have 7 types of them and for the reason of safety about physically and mentally, when you want to order a Chevalier we will need you answer a few of our questions. Merci!.**

NOTE: Since this products are male Chevaliers (Male only. Sorry, for no matter how much we try, we couldn't create… DAMN… **train** a female one), so they have their own feelings and they love young women. Therefore, if you are a girl then good, and if you are a boy…, it's _fine_ too.

**Question number one**: What do you want your Chevalier looks like?. And his age?.

a). Well, I want him not so short and not so tall either,… has curly blonde that look like noodle hair. And I don't like him being "straight" at all, a little "soft" would be great. What?. Don't you DARE judging me!. Having a homosexual bodyguard would be marvelous. If he couldn't beat my enemy with force, then he could offer a more peaceful way to solve the problem by sleeping with them. See, work for _**ANY genders**_. Huh!. His age should be 33.

b). The age 55., for the old you get the more experience you have. Uhmm… fat, but not so chubby with dark hair and maybe a beard around his mouth. Oh a high bulging and wide forehead, and "so clean" that when a fly alights on, it drops dead because of it's slipperiness. WAIT, I know!. I want him to have something special about his eyes.

c). Tall. Yes, tall, maybe around 1m9. Having dark locks and kind a long hair. Looking mystery, **extremely** handsome and dark like a prince from hell. I love "dark" guy, for he will good at _that_ _**thing.**_ Of course, I want him to be young, 22 or 23. Hell, who would want to touch an old man. URG! Please, people. An old wizened and a body of a sex god. Which one would you prefer?.

d). 20s, medium high… blonde and his hair should curly a bit. Looking gorgeous, like a sweet candy *gasp*. Yes, like a prince with his white "horse", *wink*, me!. Well, I think he should have dreamy sleepy eyes. Duh, I'm a dreamer.

e). I don't know, maybe around 20 something. Black hair with a bun and the rest is loose on his back. What?. It's cool!. Haven't you ever watched Chinese historical drama?. If no, then you suck, S U C K. You didn't know about Jakie Chan or Jet Lee and the hee yaah, ohhh, aaachhaaa. You should kill yourself.

f). I like a black one!. For I'm not racist or anything. Who would want a black one when you're racist, right?. I'm the child of the mayor, so I'm not racist. I listen to the rap, I play basketball, I shape my most precious hair and be bald, I wear so many jewelries so I can't use my fingers, and I… I… Wahhhhhh. I'm not racist!. *sniff*. I don't know about his age, for he's black, but he should be young.

g). A boy!. Probably 13 to 14. Short brown hair, big eyes and a cute smiling face. So cute that I want to rape and then eat him!. HA HA HAAAAA….

ANOTHER NOTE: The answers above were surveyed, and those answers are what we get zhe… the most to describe our 7 types of Chevaliers. If you don't like it, please write one of your own and then on a specific _someday _we will post your answers. Merci beaucoup!.

**Are you done with the fist question?. If you're done then, please click the button "review" below and give us your answers so we may move on to zhe… THE next one. Damn it all!.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ah… So here we are, and that means we're now done with the fist, first question. Now, the next one:**

**Question number two:** What about his clothes?. His belongings?.

a). A red brown vest, a white shirt, and a kind of dark thing shirt which I don't know what it's called between the white shirt and the vest , a blue tie of a choker… and things like that. Things would make your chevalier looks like a true _fat_ gentleman from the outside but not the inside for he wears lingerie.

Maybe you would catch a women sweater and a tight low show up belly button jeans, or a sailor suit in his wardrobes which is quite usually and those clothes are so **so** small for the form of him, then don't worry. It is a normal thing!. Duh, he wears sexy Triumph, and yes this type of chevalier loves women clothes, so is he gay?. Yes, kind of!.

Also don't panic and think you're going to faint when seeing his bulging belly button or seeing _**some other**_ _**part**_ for zhe guy would transform into woman form. Therefore, before you wanna "bleep" _her_, just remember the _woman_ is a **dude**!.

Oh… his belonging is a small handbag which he hides in a place you wouldn't want to know. And in that you would find many types of lipstick, face-powder, cold-cream, tweezers and his great treasureee… behold the mascara!.

b). Ohhh this type may be considered as son of Satan. All the things he wears are in all dark colors. Black coat, black pants, dark tie, dark green "the thing I don't know what it's called"…. Humm, I wonder if he wears dark underwear too?.

Saya, does he wear black boxers or he wears the "I love Snicker" one with chocolate bars under his pants which Kai said you bought two for him and the cello guy?.

"What? Kai, you liar. I bought them for Ha…. Hey, get your hands off him!. All of you back off!. He is mine!. _**The chocolate bar**_ is mine!. *grabs her sword*. Kyyyaaaa…"

His belonging is a large cello coffin case and please don't call the cops, it just has a cello inside NOT a corpse!. Don't think it inconvenience, but think like this:

You're tired for all the walking and want a big nap in a dark warm sound-proof place, so what are you waiting for?. Get in the case and your chevalier will carry you. Well, good luck with the get out though. _Or_, when you somehow accidently meet your lover, and your life mate is with you at a moment... get in his case before she/he crawls your eyes out of their sockets. Again, good luck when you try to get out!. The case is sound-proof. One more thing, before you get in the case, your nose better be stuffy.

c). All blinking white!. Remember don't having a stroll in the middle of the night, with his white suit you would scream out "Ghost!", then shit in your underclothes. And your Casper is not totally friendly, he may leaves you lay in the middle of the rails or comes and bite your neck then blames the mosquitoes are the ones leave a big teeth mark on it because you don't have short dark hair and trachoma eyes.

He may dresses in a dark suit sometimes, tries to disguise himself as _**someone**_ we know, or rather _**someone**_ SHE knows. BUT the guy never has his luck, for he **always** forgets that he has **blond** hair, and MUCH way **shorter** than _**someone **_SHE knows. Your chevalier will need a lots advice from "The master of disguise", he obviously didn't watch all the film carefully.

His belonging?. Sticky glue thing to keep his hair shine and neat, high heels shoes, some wigs, some skins… You should ask him if the skin is real or not, for it stinks!.

d)." Ao dai and a pair of skinny trousers?. For real?. And what with the cosplay clothes with mask and long black cloak?. Darling, you're killing fashion with your taste of clothing. And what did I said about cloak, a lot of heroes died because of it!. *Tear his coat*. NO CLOAK!".

"Chariot, my clothes!. Help!".

Excuse je, lady who looks a lot like Hetty in "NCIS Los Angeles", but could you get out please?. You're not in "The Incredibles"!. Can't you see he's just trying transform from Nerd Ken to Supermad?. It's not his fault for being insane. So…. SECURITY!.

You're chevalier belonging?. Err… Do you have belonging?.

Yes… some chopsticks to hold my hair?.

e). General clothes and dark black suit. Hee… Black in Black, but not "Men in Black". What a trend of fashion!. You should watch "Rush Hour 2" and learn Carter about suit. Oh wait!. I see, you're trying blend in with the night so you could creep peeking on your Queen. Way to go, man!.

"Actually, I want to blend in so I can get away from a _**certain**_ someone".

"Ouch, look who being dramatic Queen".

Ohhhh, so let's me guess… your belonging is sunglasses?.

"Exactly".

f). Vest and short?. Seriously, I know you chevaliers don't know much about fashion but please don't kill it!. Ekkk… I mean, your clothes look **very** _nice_!.

*sweat drops* His belongings: some cooking knives in many shapes and forms, a cooker, a cutting board, tomatoes, cabbages, rice, some fishes, coffee beans, tea, milk, water and tans of carrots?…. Well, strange that he can carry a lot of thing in his _**tiny**_ pant pockets. Maybe he is related with Doraemon.

g). A purple ruffle girly shirt, a pair of cowboy boot sand a pair of tight skinny which is some what transparent ballet pink pants. A pants that even a person likes man's thing would blushes if he/she takes a look at it.

Talk about the level of being stingy, your chevalier will save a lot of money for you when all his life he has only one clothes to wear and that is the one above. When you want to get his clothes wash, don't be afraid. Give him some man clothes and he would wear it to cover his _**thing**_ until his clothes are dried. Just remember do not take so much time to wash it, he can stand the man clothes in just 1 minute.

**An important note**: If there is a handsome man in your house, then do NOT ever wash his clothes and give him other thing to cover, even though it is a dress for he would prefer to be naked and you couldn't do anything to make him cover _**that**_.

"I'm not stingy!. Beside you love when I show up my ass, Chariot".

Shut it!. I'm not gay. Van Argeno, yes!. But I'm his brother and I am not gay!. Sure I love eating cucumber but I AM NOT GAY!.

**OK click the button and give us your answer, please. And when you're giving us a review, please tell us you're male or female. *Remember **_**someone**_***. On second thought, please tell us your gender that bases on your **_**below**_**, so we don't have to monsieur/mademoiselle all the times. Ummm, maybe it's Ok if you don't want to tell your gender though, we'll just call you m/m…. Sound like m&m chocolate, huh?.**

**"Chocolate!".**

**"No, Bluefish!. It's could be a TRAP!".**

**Ohhh, monsieur Darnit the skeleton and his chubby dinosaur ass friend. *Reach into my pant pocket*.**

**"Ewww Darnit, he's touching **_**it**_**!".**

**No!. I'm looking for some candies, moron!.**

**"Candies!. Take cover!... Err Bluefish, why are you hiding behind my back?".**

**Oh, how clever a dinosaur is hiding behind a skeleton….. Boo, morons!. I'm just giving you some sweet candies to eat!. NOT steel candies!. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Darn all the morons!. Couldn't distinguish the different between a steel candy and the REAL candy!. Give them some candy and they'll punch you in the face!. Ruining your expensive glass that even the whole of the poor salary as whatever Shield could never pay back. Not to mention that they spend their entire money into guns (the skeleton) and donuts (the dinosaur ass). Here, the next question!.**

**Question number three:** What do you think about his inside?. And I mean his thoughts, his personality, his soul,… stuff like that!. Not _**the other **_inside!. And what would you prefer to hear him say to encourage you?.

a). Happy, cute, delightful, full of energy that you think he's always on high or drunk,…. And might I tell you I'm not sure if he's using some drugs or not but sometimes he looks like an emo. Well beside his sometimes "the world is on it's end" attitude, I don't think there's anything wrong with his head.

Oh oh… did I mention that he's wimp?. You can making fun of him every time. His girlish voice, his short height, his coconut hair, his hairless legs, his baby milking cheeks, his crying baby heart which cries on every little thing,... Did I tell you that he held a funeral upon the death of his beloved friend (and only friend)?. His… LD the Third, wet to dead!. Here is the story about the great friendship between a boy named Wimpy and his friend:

Once upon a time there was a boy and his name was Wimpy. The boy had no friend, no… no _human_ friend for he was such a crying baby. He cried for his favorite treasure (aka his friend) "Lap Dance, stood high tall and proud III", the one and only left version had got wet. Poor boy, he cried for weeks…. His father tried to save it (for he really really love it, too). And the man saved it by… sticking it with rice and said "Nankurunaisa", but to no good. The boy's friend had dead for his sister mistook it as a meat,…

"Hey, I was like a baby at that time. And can you believe it?. They watched it in front of a baby!. *points at herself*. ME!".

… so she put in on a fire, (now now be patient) and then the boy had to pour the entire of bucket on it. That why I said it was wet to dead.

So you can making fun of him with ease if you can take on his way too high "Wahhhhh…." Mhz. Just do not ever mention **anything** about cooking or **anything** is related to it. He… may not so wimp when you "talk" about his cooking. Look at my right eye, m/m. I talked maybe he must know Doraemon to carry all of his kitchen appliances, and this is the result. No no no!. My right eye!. My left is swollen because the darn Bluefish poked it!. And it got swollen because the effect of his chubby.

*Cough* Well, he'll say: "Can I go to the Zoo and to borrow an axe to slay a cow?. My knifes are kind a small", or "Can we go play base ball?. I am bored!", or "If I beg?",…. Maybe in some _**strange**_ way, you'll get motive by his words and grasp a bat, then whack it on his head. Ah, so full of life!.

b). Uhm,… What else can I say, but a man with such filial!. He loves his mommy so much that he carries her everywhere he goes!. He carries her when he's out side. He carries her when he's biting people's neck. He carries her when he's in the toilet and doing some things that inconvenient to talk about. He carries her into his bed, even though he never sleeps but just wants to know the feel of being on the same bed with his mother. So if you're the incest type, this would be the perfect chevalier for you.

He may appears tough, but just stick your lower lip out and pout then he'll pierce the sun since you hate it for making your skin looks like his. Well just don't say anything about his skin though, for he really love it when it's burned like that and make him like a walking coal and sadly he doesn't look like Will Smith at all. Hey!. If you tell him to bleach his skin, then you're racist and way too evil for breaking his eternal dream. (Note: He'll go mad and go on berserk). How the hell could he ever be on "Men in Black IV" when having a Dutch dairy cow skin?. And yes, he mistook the word "in black".

**Warning:** He is very jealous!. Do not ever ever **never** say that you like any man or any woman just because of whatever you like in them!. There definitely no more Jonas brothers or J Lo once you did that!. And if that happens, good luck and wish you know Mr. Obama.

When you're sad, he'll say: "Tonight, we have to eat human food for we're attending a party so don't you even think of anything…. OH NO!. NOT THE PUPPY EYES!", "You can do anything you want, just don't jump like that for your beautiful body will be crushed and I can't bang you with it", or "What do you think of my skin?. Should I burn it a little darker?",….

c). This is the type of creeping stalker and Nerd transformer Super… mad!. He loves you so much and when he gets nothing but lust from you, he'll change his target into your sister. No not **loving** her, **killing** her. Therefore, get your sister away from him as far as possible. Or, as near him as possible?. Your decide!.

He's the type of violent bodyguard, so you need to know the whole world CSI, NCIS, FBI, CIA… when having him as your chevalier. Yet he very eager to protect you: He'll rip off your attacker head, make a huge crack on the floor for stomping the poor ant or digging hole on the wall for shooting a spider…. just to protect you!... Or that is what he declare it is.

He is… _fine_ (if you don't count his wacky head). Just do not shake his hand when you guy meet, do not play wresting thumb with him, do not tell him write a letter, do not tell him that you need a hand, do not ask him if he has a free hand… You know what?. **Don't say any words about his hand or told him to do some things that requires them. **I know that you must be curious to know "how the hell he's going to protect me" when being "handless", right?. It's…. Well, he has his way, OK?. It's not like he is not human and having arms with spiky dart thingsand he'll shoot them like a machine gun, right?. *sweat drops*.

His words to you: "Now… dance with me, tonight!", "I want to be your dance partner", or "You don't love me so I'm going to kill your sister and then bang her again again and again. When her corpse rots, I'll drink her blood and die with her",….

Please don't ask about his logical. Drink someone's blood after their body has rotten?. *sigh* No wonder he must cosplay.

d). Ah sweet, caring and loving prince face so his personality must be the same!. XXX… Wrong answer m/m. He may looks sweet and cute, but he is nut and insane. I mean he wants to know what is going to happen when he rips a chevaliers limbs and head off. He wants to know if the chevalier will regenerate or not. Again, we SUCK are not doing anything illegal. Chevaliers are (were) humans!.

He may looks smart, but he forgets things easily. He talks with you the 1st minute, then 2 minutes later he'll say "I am sorry. But who are you, young miss?". Heck he can't even remember the face of the **person** that "give" life to him despite HIM being with HER for over freaking **decades**.

And this type is so **NOT** loyal. He may dumps you so that he could tail the other girl who he believes that she is his soul mate, even though she kicks his butt several times. Man, he even dare to kill his own "mother" for "the love of his life". Not to mention "the love of his life" is the one he met just a couple of seconds ago. Let's just say when he sees a pretty girl, he immediately declares that he loves her.

**Note:** He a womanizer.

His words: "Who are you, young miss?","Have we met before?. Because I believe I have never seen anyone so beautiful as you are", "If you can follow my lead, then we must be in great harmony", "Do you remember that I wear white the first time we met, then I keep wearing the same suit for over century?", "What do you think when I'm in black?. Do I look like _**someone **_you know?"….

e). If you a are person that fully agree with the phrase "Silent is Gold" then you should pick this one. Even though sometimes (usually) his silent make you wanna open his mouth with a nail removed hammer then put a metal bar to keep it from shutting. Well, maybe you're thinking his breath must smelt awful when he keeps his mouth shut every time. But hey think about Cool Air, Colgate Plax, Listerine, Douplemint…. And it's not like that I have bad breath. I just don't want to meet dentist every day, OK? (For all the candies).

Hey hand off my Douplemint, Darn the big softy coal.

"Humph. Stingy".

"Saya, is my breath really bad?"

"No… Not at all".

How did she know?. Did she… **sniff** it?. o_O

**One big note**: If you need a chevalier who could give you advice on some things, then I suggest you NEVER pick this one. All he could say are: "If that is what you wish", "You must fight", blah blah blah…. If you don't care and just need some one to listen, then once again do NOT pick him. Just talk to the wall and that would save you millions!. You want to hear his deep velvet voice?. Then hunt down Crispin Freeman or Katsuyuki Konishi, trick him or them to say "If that is what you wish" or "それはあなたが望むものである場合" (Sore wa anata ga nozomu monodearu baai: If that is what you wish), record it!. See, you can play it a hundred times a day and the voice would never (would) break.

His words to you: "Wake up and please stop drooling", "You must fight", "If that is what you wish, but I am so sorry. I can't sleep with you", "Anything you wish, except this one for she will kill me", "Please keep fighting your dark side", "I will never leave you even though we're separate by time, in any circumstance…"

_**"Haji!".**_

"…. Coming!".

Forgot to tell you, but he is VERY loyal and a coward. If he loves someone, the punch on the face is the only could open his mouth and confess his feeling to her. And since he really loves _**her**_, he'll do whatever _**she **_say, and dress the "Bagel" boxers if _**she**_ is the one who bought it. So don't expect he'll do anything for you, unless _**she**_ says "yes".

f). He is evil, creepy, and scary… and creepy. What?. Don't mock me!. The guy is creeping me out!. He seems to be a gentleman but he is like the big vizier, who always loves to pull other's string and burns the whole empire down. The master of puppet, Mr. Lash!. He can hypnotize people by making them looking at his lashes and they go crazy after all the fail attempts trying to pluck one out. See, the prove is right beside me!. *Point at _**some**_ diva*.

"You taste… like _**him**_!. Eww… I just got all the gay germ on me!. *giggles*".

Hey!.

"Diva, germ is bad. What did I say about it, humph?".

"I am sorry, Mr. Lash *bashes her _**eye… lash… **__innocently_?*".

"Ugh!. You're dead, Chariot! What did I say about it?. I said no mean word before a baby!".

Wait wait wait before you kill me, remember that I am the CEO and work for you right now, not that Mr. Temporary memory.

"Fine. *mumbles* _I'll kill you after you make profits for me_".

What?.

… O-K.

His words for you: "Diva, put that down right this instant!", "No don't eat it. I don't want to take you to dentist", "Hey, put your toys away when you're done with it. I don't want any blood stain on this _Asian skin_ carpet",…. Yeah, that what he says to you.

**Important:** He may be viewed as incest old man, for he treats you like a baby and at the same time he wants to bleep you.

g). Need a stylish grandmother?. Pick him, pick him!. He'll show you how to dress like a fashionable homo, and scowls you when you forgot to put on a scarlet cowboy boots .

"Scarlet cowboy boots totally blow you up!. See what they did to Ted in "How I met your mother"?".

He may appears effeminate, but he is strongest chevaliers we have. Well, if he's not such a lazy ass, and just goofing around the battle of life, keep stating how your dress looks marvelous on you, or boy how your err… guy looks delicious.

"How do you my ass is lazy?. *wink wink*".

Oh god!. *groan* Not again!.

His words: "Oh my, you looks absolutely perfect in this obsolete dark blue dress. I know the dress is nothing special, but the crown!. The bat wings crown is so **blow you up**, darling! It's like: "Oh look at me!. I am a vampire queen!. So _cute_!", "Where did you buy that coat?. Was it from Saya's chevalier?. Poor girl. It's so out of time!. But know what I'll give you a favor and buy it with…. Humm, how about a thousand dollars?", "Hey, where did coalblack-kun go?",….

"Oh my!. You _**so**_ know about me".

**Arghhh. Done!. I'm off.**

**"Wait!. Chariot-kun. You forgot your candy!".**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ahhh… How long has it been?. Sorry, but I've just got out of the hospital (Thanks to a certain man with his *cough* lash *err hemp). And now I'm back!.**

**Question number four:** Beside from being a Chevalier aka your body - guard, ha haa… the word is so funny… Uh oh… *cough cough*, is there any career you wish him to have?.

a). Umm, I need some one who knows about funeral service for that is my family traditional business. You know, some time our clients need more people to come at their home, so a chevalier with a sombre face and dark clothing would be great . And he better has such an abundant health for one of our truck has been broken recently, we need him to carry coffins and deliver them. I won't say it just a short trip, so in some meaning he has to carry it for a reaaalllyy _**long **_time. As in **always**. Er… actually that also requires a thick skin on the face.

Has he ever carried anything as big as a coffin?. Like a steel thick huge cello case, perhaps?.

Oh and my kids need a nanny too. Do you have a chevalier that good with children?. Good as in… Uhm… I don't know I don't want him to give my kids too much sugar for police will sure come and there are some things I don't want them to see. *whispers*. _We cut our clients eye lids and hide them inside the walls._…

"Blink. What?".

What?

…. "O-K". (Good thing that I have Amshell as my boss).

*stares at je weirdly*…. Any way, I don't want him to talk much and stuff them about the "birds and bees". I don't want him to be close with them for hey they're **my** kids!. I'm sure as hell that I don't want him to steal them away from me!... Yet but some how, the children would love him and sticking around him, put flowers on his hair, shove straw on his face, tell him to change their clothes…. Hey hey hey, he's better not a lolicon, he should blush and crawl the shit out of the room like a good virgin boy he is.

Oh can he do any household chores?. Washing dishes, clean the floor,…. Huh?. Oh, sure I can hire a nanny but there are some things broken in my house. Like the bulb, and if he's handsome then there is my marriage.

What?. Oh, please I give you millions so of course I would expect a lot of him. You know what I want him to good at every freaking thing!. The animals should love him too!. They would want to eat his clothes!.

"Forgive my impolite…err… sir?. But I guess that you're zhe type who love eating cucumber with two eggs on each side?".

Why, YES!.

b). My company is doing commercial about toothpaste so I need a good looking guy that grins 24/7 and has white blinding teeth. It would be do me a big favor if he has two canine fangs. Oh, please don't look at me that way. It's just there are some fools out there who love to be like us…. *coughs* I mean to be vampire or some thing so that certainly a hell good way for our toothpaste.

"_Riiing… ~Oh baby!. Can you see my eye lashes…."_ *Panics*

_"….Lash lash… do da do…."_ *Reaches into every… her pockets*. (I guess that a her for although she has a beard, but her boobs are like two water melons. Lets call her beard lady!. ^o^)

_"….Lash bump chat…. "_ *Turns pale*

_"They are so beautiful that sometimes,…"_ *Eyes with special six lashes widen, and stands up straight, turns around*

_"I found my self wearing thong…. "_ *Some ruffling sound*

_"Yo yo… L A hey S H. Lash…. _Beep_" _

**WHAT?**. Argeno, I'm busy… What?. _**Gruuu…**_ That traitor!. "Beep". Now I need a stupid former CEO who would be willing to let me pull his strings and a psychiatrist.

c). I have such a wonderful CD. Do you want to hear it?. It is so touching and marvelous and so sexy and so hot. *giggles* I was in a cold shower and strangely I think about black-coal-kun and *blushes* he was… *squeal*. So of course you want to hear it, silly. Hear let me turn it on!.

"Hell non. *grasp a pen*. Stay away from me. I have… a pen, and I won't hesitate to use it".

No, I mean the CD silly.

"Oh, the CD".

And Chariot-kun, what can you do with a pen like zhat?.

"Don't mock me!. I now can perfectly speaking English!. About zhe pen, Mr. Darnit used to draw mustache on Argeno's face. He looks like Collin's son already, and with zhat mustache he looks like he got it from Amshell too. And I do NOT want to look like **any** of them!"

*gasp gasp* "Ummm, can we back with the CD, please?".

OK!. *skips skips and plays the CD*

"-".

(What is zhis?. It sounds like a retard homo duck trying to sing…. Opera. Yes, it has to be Opera for I couldn't catch a single word).

Good, right?. So I want a producer, who has a delicious taste in fashion. I want show up my curves, and I want him to give me such a great massage at night. *winks and more giggles* I want him do me some night service.

d). I don't know how to cook. There was one time I went into the kitchen and I accidently put eggs in the stove and the next thing I knew is a big "BA-BOOOM", and there is water on over the floor, and my Ranma is yelling. So I need a chevalier with great cooking skill as a true master chef. And I please tell me he is NOT that referee in Master Chef Australia. I mean what with him. Why does he always wears a choke-tie?.

"Hey, that's rude!".

(Man, she ignores me!).

Oh and my so close friend has die recently. And she was a old hag, so I need to rent some one to cry for her. *sighs* she was my friend so I have to be there, but it would be way to boring!. I rather go on a date with Jaken than being there pretend to be hurt.

(Yeah, close friend!)

Oh ohhhh, could your chevalier do any magic trick?. Like the trick that the magician pulling out a hundred of them inside a tiny thing like his pocket?.

"Ohh yeah, we do…. **WAIT!**. Did you just say "you need some one to cry"?. Then, there is a really **BIG** question for you. *Grasp her shoulders, look straight into her eyes*

"Could you stand a high MHz that would tears apart your eardrums?. No… burns your ears to ash…. No no no…. a better question would be: Was…. you _**deaf**_?. "

…

"Hello?"…. "Moshi moshi?"….

"Bam, she is perfect!" (Now I can get him sold!).

e). I love comedy show, so I want him to give me a belly dancing.

(Oh, great! Another pervert).

*pulls off his shirt*.

Ewww…. Uh oh….

(There are drawings on his front, and it in shape of a face with his nipples as eyes and his bulging navel as the nose).

Here, like this!. *uses both hands to pinch his flesh, moving it with his thumbs and fore fingers*.

I'm the great vizier with the super power to control you!.

(Oh, so his over weight is doing him a favor and that is mouth).

Now, look at my lashes and bow before me!. You foolish human beings!.

f). Stood!. Bow!.

*kick my chair abruptly and bow*

I need General to watch out my daughter when I'm going abroad!.

"Monsieur, you mean your troops?"

No, my daughter!. Daughter is a girl that was born by a man and a women, when he thrusts his pen….

"Ok sir, I get it!"

*Nods*. And my daughter is a girl that was born by my wife and me in the heat moment on the gunfire battle flied,…

(What with this dude?. And in the middle of a war?).

… when a bomb was throw two feet way, and we were hiding beneath a rock as our shield. My pen….

"*cough*Sir, I totally understand English!."

(A bomb was involve?. Guess that why he looks like a Terminator. And since he loves to talk about his _thing_, I would call him: Terminator version P - Metal XLL).

Good!. So I need a strictly man with no force can move his heart!. (*groan*. Zhis is **HARD**!). And I need him to be a good catcher, for my daughter is inherited my adventure blood from me, so she usually tries to jump off a bridge or a high building with the frame of an umbrella.

(They need to get their brain checked!).

Do I make myself clear, soldier?.

"Sir yes, sir!".

Good, now I have a brain check to go!. So good bye!. Bow!.

*Gape*

g). I want a hand puppets show!. Err I mean **my daughter** wants a hand puppets show!. For I'm a full mature adult, and I'm not a loser that have to go around putting puppet show for living or wearing costume. Pfff…. I'm not that bum!. And let me tell you, my job is the most meaning career in the world that brings thousands of lives….

Oh, speaking of my job. Do you have any bum out there that willing to take a drug test?. And I have such a evil costume right here with me, so I want him to wear it to increase the horror. He will play the Phantom and I will be the innocent girl with a whip and a corset, drying beside his corpse…..

Oh, I need a new digital camera for that!... And a coffin.

**Note:** The answers above were surveyed, and those answers are what we get zhe… the most to describe our 7 types of Chevaliers. If you don't like it, please write one of your own and then on a specific _someday _we will post your answers. Merci beaucoup!.

**Heck, the day of freaks!. I'm exhausting!.**


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